A poem I never read out loud

 I wrote this poem a week or so before my 18th birthday and it was supposed to be read on the special occasion in front of everyone as a gesture of gratitude. But, including many other things that I had planned for my birthday, it never came to disclosure. And despite what everyone seeks, I think there's power in being unacknowledged, being hidden and secured. I could imagine the odd impacts of my poem during a family event and hence, my conscience never allowed me to recite it. "Things are valued more when hidden", it said.

Now, it's been about three months and I have been wanting to save it here; that is in case, a loss of data occurs in future. I can not risk to lose this poem. It may not be literally rich, but the values it keeps within is quite precious for me to lose. So, here follows my poem.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

If years are just supposed to roll by

How did I live them?

Since I have lived, and I have learnt

How could I keep them aside then?

Life has been a classroom and

This World has been my mate

Teachers are the People 

who taught opening the gate

World is big and how I really wish

I could see every bit of it

With love and with life

I could live every moment of it

Tears to laughter

Silence to speaking

Emotions came and left

And myself, I kept making.

I have been resentful

I have been lost

Life had created moments

That I found immensely unjust

It hasn't been a piece of cake

Neither it has been impossible

I always had something in me

Which said, "You are capable"

To all those who made me happy

To all those who made me sad

I would like to look back for a while and see

Even those at whom I've been mad.

How do I feel?

Ask a disoriented sailor of the ocean

How he feels when he gets a glimpse of an island

I have turned myself into someone

Of whom I never even imagined

Change is inevitable

So is time

So, how could you make certain

That things are going to be just the same and fine?

The journey has not come to the end

It is on the edges of the mountain

This is where the climb begins

The cliffs seem to be tall and scary

But the journey still remains

And, I do not wish to be scared or weary

I passed across the lands that seemed impassable

I happened to meet things..

Things that bothered me, but not for long

I have even crossed regions where

I did not need to be strong

Where I could walk by with a smile on the face

Where I felt this is where happiness belongs

While in my heart and in my voice,

Stayed many beautiful songs.

This is my message of gratitude

From the bottom of my heart

There awaits a journey hereafter

Which requires a great start.

For everyone and everything, about I care

Now, there is a life ahead of me, where I shall fare

Pray that my will prevails over my fears

And, cheers to what I have passed

"Eighteen amazing years"

••••••••••••••••••••••••

Thank you for reading. Every reader means a lot to me.

Love, Pran❤️

Just Another Ride, but far better

00.40 | 9th Oct 2020 

I wouldn't start like I entered here after decades. I think I have been here since the last time I wrote. It's just you couldn't read what I wanted write and I couldn't write what I wanted to. So here I am, sharing another piece of my blog.

These days I have been spending quite a lot time with my friend "someone". He doesn't live here now, although he used to. So, we have been studying together at his place since last week as I have realised I have final exams coming up in few months and I am lagging far too behind. During these vacations, he is here in his home. And we have shared many a cool moments together now and before, and in some moments, where he wasn't with us, I wanted him to be.

Anyways, he is cool. We are cool. We study and revise things and now I find studying quite interesting. I have been trying though. I have not been  using social media like I used to when I started this blog. Today, after the organic chemistry discussion, he suggested to go out with him. Even though I wanted to go, I really wanted to, I was in dilemma if I should go for it. To be honest, I was a bit lazy to get ready for this outing and I wanted to pass. But something kept me up on this plan and after confirming that there was no zoom meetings at 7pm, I called him to count me in. He kinda wanted me to get ready in 5 minutes and I eventually took more than 10. Well, I am slow at getting ready. I would never choose 5 minutes of getting ready when 10 would do me better.

Finally we headed outside in his scooty, I was sitting behind as usual, a bit confused and excited. I was determined not to eat anything outside, not because I did not want to spend money, but because I did not want to get virus infected by taking this risk. So, we went on and I don't understand why but I told him to make this evening special, if not for him, let it be special for me. It's not like I was going out after soooooooooo long (mind the emphasis). He said nothing and I felt silly as soon as I understood these words got into his mind. We went to this gas station and he bought gas for the scooty. I waited while he filled the vehicle and checked its pressure. Oh, now I remember he handed me the lid of the gas tank and I inhaled the, well, "fragrance ?". He laughed and so did I, unreasonably. I called home to inform I might be late. He asked me what my time limit was and I went a bit philosophical, "I do not live with limits". Lol !

I sat again and he drove. With a normal speed, initially and then, all of a sudden, I was about to have watery eyes. I shouted him to stop. "DO YOU WANT THIS RIDE TO BE YOUR LAST RIDE WITH ME ?" 

"Obviously, no", he answered. "You wanted this night to be memorable for  you".

"Yeah, not by an accident though", I said but the fast breezes deafened my words into the atmosphere.

(Irony - I do not live with limits but a little bit of fast driving is unbearable for me)

He did not seem to stop, so I closed my eyes and tried not to feel the roller-coaster ride. Eventually, he slowed down when the city lights were brighter than usual. He showed me some places, places where he liked to eat fast-food. I wanted to eat something with him, but I had enough self-control to stop myself as I was afraid of the virus. We took a way which lead us out of the city and I kept telling him that I knew all these places as my school bus used to come through those lanes to drop me off. After a while, he paused and left me puzzled. The street was empty and he insinuated me, leaving the handles, "Would you like to have a go at it?"

I never really expected this, but I wanted it. I truly did. I wouldn't lie and I didn't either. Without any drama I said yes and took the handles. Now, he was behind me and I was in the Jannat-ul-Firdous. I have always  wanted to ride a scooty in the streets but my family never really cared enough for it. As I took the handles, he gave me some information, which was quite easy to go unnoticed in the power of my happiness. This evening was really going to be a memorable one. I was shaky at first, and I was shakier by the thought that he knew I was shaky. I took the drive slow and gradually my speed increased as an inverse proportionality according to my fear. He sounded pleased as well, with me, with my driving and with my talk. There were some turnings and I got really scared when I saw a car coming towards me from far away. He instructed me to slow down and I successfully tackled the car without losing my balance.

Then, we went on and I rode quite well. He said he was not afraid anymore of my driving as I crossed the car impressively. Maybe, I assured him not to be afraid because it was not my first time. We talked about a lot of things and he wanted me to show some solar panels, which I already had seen with another friend, but okay, I admit those things were unforgettable for me. I had never been alone with a friend that much away from the city. The city lights, telephone towers, electric towers and all sort of towers were blurrily visible like torch lights. I loved the atmosphere and I guess he did as well.

I did bad when I couldn't get to see anything. I was going to bump with a tree and there was a turning. Lol ! He must have got scared and I thought we would fall down. But I managed impressively. I was getting good according to him. I was lucky that the streets were straight and not curvy. We reached there and I searched for a bridge where me and my friend had sit when the last time we came there. He thought there was no such bridge, but I was sure there was and yes, there was. The bridge was the end of the straight road and before us, there were giant hills which sacred me to an extend and slopes and curvy ways. So I told him to return.

He taught me another way to return. I looked up on the sky and I found many more stars twinkling than I usually get to see on my roof and they were beautiful. Throughout this ride so far, I had had watery eyes due to coldness of the environment and dust particles loved to get into my bare eyes so much that I was having troubles with my eyesight, which is already troubled in its own way. He asked me if I felt good and there was no doubt in it. I was so glad he let me drive. He informed me that I must have driven more than five kilometers and I was like OMG! It's a big deal for me. He said he wants people to be with him and I think that was so sweet of him. I had not expected such lines from a person like him, who is into studies and all. But he was different also. He would set my mask on my face from behind and I would thank him many times. My mask was loose for some reasons and it was annoying from the beginning.

Then, in the way back, I was about to bump into a truck. I suggested that we should let the trucks go on and wait for a while, so that we could go on easily. He accepted and I drove very slowly. I also told him to take the handles when we enter into the city again, but he wanted me to drive more. He wanted me to drive in the crowded areas and I did. I was nervous, but I did. And even I was impressed with my driving.

So, that was the end I guess. I did not include many a things because I may have forgotten or because I am sleepy. But it was an experience for me. I would thank him so much that he let me have this experience. I am grateful. I think I may not remember these things point by point, but I will never forget this night as I am writing it here partially completed.

Love, Pran 💗

watch me complain as usual

    I don't know how to begin, there are so many things to be written. But after a rethinking session, I feel like there's nothing I need to write. I have to maintain this so, I'm writing this worthless piece of whatever it is. To my only blog reader or maybe there are two people, well to everyone who reads, you know I'm so so grateful to you that you read it, maybe that's why I'm still posting here. A writer should keep writing even if no one reads, but readers are the motivations.  

   My life has been entirely sleepy. I keep sleeping all the day, thanks to the useless vacations, kindly provided because of the virus. I can't sleep early at night it's not my problem actually. And then it's only my problem. 

  Well, now that world is under lock-down, I have long vacations that are not going to end soon I guess. I should do something in these days, like study? What the hell ! I haven't even touched any study materials, it's been so long. I'm interested to watch movies and shows. But unfortunately I'm so obsessed with one movie and one series that nothing else matters for me. 

    Well, although I watched Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, still it's not entertaining enough. I fell asleep while watching it for the first time, but I liked it when I watched it again with full concentration. I want to watch the second movie, but I didn't find it anywhere on the internet.

   I love to read books, but who's gonna pay for those books ? Nobody cares about books in my boring house. And they say I'm boring because I want to read books. Well, dear family members, do you think sticking your eyes with a mobile and TV is a great way amusement ? Well apparently it's not a very convenient way to spend your time. Okay, I know you have nothing to do, but guys this world is so big. Explore new things, watch new TV shows and movies (better if you don't watch the INDIAN dramas and reality shows, and yes those horrible heroic Tollywood films).

    Look who's telling to explore things!? I know I'm obsessed with one film and one series only, but still  I want to explore. I want to read new books, I want to watch new TV shows, movies. But I can't tell anyone to buy new books, because everyone else is busy in their work. Nobody cares in my family, thank you for making me feel like this. I can't tell them that I want to talk to them about so many things, I wanna learn guitar, I wanna do something interesting, I wanna watch movies and shows together, but the environment  around me is just like me. They just don't understand. They're always on the bed or in front of the TV or in the kitchen, like nothing else is left. I sleep whole day because I have nothing to do, and no one treats me the way I want to be treated. No one encourages me, so lack of motivation makes me lazier. When I get up from the bed, I have my lunch. And it's around 3 pm. Then it's evening and they watch every TV show until it's 10 pm. And you know!? 10pm is the time to go to bed for them. The entire evening I do nothing, just I need someone to talk to. So I keep scrolling through instagram. Or maybe desperately tell people indirectly to call me. And I do it on the roof, sitting alone and listening to music. Trust me music is my best friend. 

  Then I watch something till midnight and my Pubg life starts. I hate to play that game, but that is the only place I'm talking to my friend. Nobody is lately interested to talk. Well some people do talk, a lot of things have happened, but I don't know what to say. I can't write anything more. Just leave if you wanna leave, but if you wanna stay, treat me the way you used to treat. I deserve it, because I can't change my family. So I have to stay in social media. 😑

                                              Love, Pran

       (because I love Northern Lights)

                           

generation, bro!

     Hey, Myself! I know you're absolutely lazy and kinda weird and asleep. So, here I am.. To open up your eyes or maybe to give you a piece of mind.. I know your eyes are open and moving well, and I'm glad that it is how it is. But you're sleeping. Your eyes don't even know what they are going through. It's too hard, I know. It's always been too hard for us. Being a teenager these days sometimes makes you feel like dying. This generation is sad, troubled and all those stuff. But is it really how it is? Let's see.

       Let's consider you as a happy person. No, I mean they're sad, so happy is someone who must be completely opposite to them. Sad people are always sad, so happies must be happy all the time. Sad people cry, happy people must be laughing, they can't cry. Sad people rarely talk, happy people must be blabbering all the time then. Happy people are always in a mood for everything, then sad people mustn't even having  any of those moods. Oh! How sad ! It's quite a bit odd, isn't it ?

     We are what we are. We are humans. You are a human. But you think yourself as a human with an adjective. There's no need. You cry, that doesn't mean you can't smile. You laugh, that doesn't mean you can't cry. You are slow, that doesn't mean you can't be fast. But you're human, and that means you can't be a bird, unless you're a witch or some kind of magician. It's okay. You'll be sad and you have to be. Only then, you'd be able to get the real happiness. You're sad in this hour. And you'll be happy in the next few. Then you may become angry in the evening, wanting to break things off. Perhaps you will break. But does that mean you're an angry person ? No, it doesn't. You'd be asleep and you'll be laughing with your family again at the breakfast. Emotions will come and go. And one emotion can't define which type of person you are. You might be sad for weeks, if that's what you say. But now that you're saying you've been sad, you must have recovered a little. And you can't be sad for the whole life. You may want to say that you're gonna be sad for the whole life. But no, you "can't" be sad. And it literally means it's impossible to stay unhappy for the whole life if you wanna live. 

      U may get depressed, and stop feeling anything. But I wish I knew a word to describe the feeling that feeling nothing is. U can't be at a constant feeling for the whole life. Sometimes people stuck up on being sad and end up losing themselves. And I literally mean losing themselves. You know this. You know it will go and something new will come. This generation isn't of any adjectives. This generation is of humans and it'll be humans' in the next few generations, unless we becomr friends with aliens and bring them to our planet in future. Be a human. Feel everything, try not to stuck. Keep moving on.

                                            Love, Pran

      

I don't want you to read it

Hey ! I'm back. I was disappeared because I had my final exams. So I had to focus on studies, which was not necessary actually. But it was better to study than dealing with negativity on social media. I deleted everything. And just tried to distract myself from phone. Well, I could have succeeded but as I said it was not necessary. So I decided not to drown in studies completely. I rather started sleeping. Now I sleep more than I used to sleep in a day. I sleep more than I need. Just to stay offline and stay away from phone. That's actually a good way to do so. But no, it makes me less productive. I can't just sleep and waste my days. Oh hey! I'm going to school on a regular basis. And I'm so glad that finally school has become  a place of joy for me. I like to be in school more than staying at home. But I'm still lazy. Less lazier than I was. Lazy that I've stopped learning French for some days. I'll be starting soon. I don't know why I'm writing this now. It's 3 am and I should be probably asleep. But tomorrow is Sunday and Saturday night is about staying up late and scrolling through my phone. Okay, so I see everything has been about me, me and me lately. Sometimes I ask my heart isn't it what I wanted ! And sometimes I'd be like ''why it is how it is." I don't know why but in all these confusions, I'm still happy. Not happy, but I'm not sad or bad. I know I have people and they will remember me when it will be the time. Even though I'm not talking to anyone, strangely being introverted, or even they are not talking to me, I know I will talk to them once again. I learned how to keep balance between my heart and hand. I can deny now. I'm not that sweet anymore. I have changed. This year is all about progress. And I'm glad that I can see some progress, even though it's slow. It took me a month to realize the importance of studies. Okay, while busy in studies, I may lose some friends, I may be called busy, ignorant and many more. But it's okay 😐 please let me heal. Let me recover. Let me be myself. Please let me take time. Now that I'm writing this, I don't know how come I keep thinking about only two persons in my mind. It's because they are my friends, both of them are busy. And I miss them. But it's okay, now I don't wanna talk to anyone. I'm upset that they don't remember me. So let me try to be happy. Please keep distance or I may tell something wrong. I'm sleepy. Good night ✨

                                              Love, Pran

PS. This is the most useless post so far. I don't know why I'm going to post this. 

a ride with a stranger 🍁

     

 

       The title is quite interesting, isn't it? Well maybe it is. I don't think anyone is reading my blog now-a-days, but I don't care about who reads what reads. I love to write, so I'll keep writing more and more. Okay, so the topic "ride with a stranger" actually has to do nothing with the stranger. We were not strangers, but I met him for the very first time and maybe the last time. You can think he was a relative, but I didn't know anything about him. I've just heard my aunt mentioning his name earlier. So basically it's a very complex connection, which I can't describe now. Let's just think he's a stranger. He was older than me, maybe 10 years older. Let me tell you I don't remember his face, but now while writing this and trying to remember how he looks like, I could relate him with my maths teacher, lol.  I think he has a job, so that he doesn't belong to our city now. I could think this because of his way of driving his motorcycle. I don't know how expensive it was. I don't even know which model it was as I'm not at all interested in vehicles. He was driving fast, very fast, faster than my father.  His driving was thrilling me. The speed was high as the streets were lonely at that time. He had a branded phone, which I think was cheaper than mine. But still, he seemed rich to me. Anyways, it doesn't matter how rich he was, or how his appearance was. I was tired of the hectic day I had, which I don't know why it was. But I was feeling tired. So after I returned to home after school, I took a long nap, which was supposed to be a short one. And then when I woke up, we had to go to this reception party of a relative. Uff.. I just don't understand the relation with these relatives, who became relative without any direct relation. I was still feeling tired after 3 hours of sleep, so I was thinking to cancel the plan for me. But somehow, I got ready and went to this venue, which was quite away from the city. After the horrible food I had, actually I was supposed to have, but fortunately I didn't, we had to return home. And then, I was introduced to him and he was asked to drop me at my home as he was going in the same direction. Because of my fatigue, I agreed with my aunt and joined him on his motorcycle, just to reach home early. It was a journey of 15-20 minutes. At first I was feeling awkward, the same kind of awkwardness, which I always feel when I meet new people. I don't know why, but I just can't talk with someone new initially. If they start it, I can talk without any problems. So he didn't say anything to me, because he was more focused on his fast driving, which literally brought water in my eyes. Hey!  I wasn't crying, even though I wanted to because of the negative thoughts I was having then. It just happened because it was cold. When it's cold and someone is driving very fast, I just get watery eye, I don't know why. What I was thinking is that how my daily life is becoming boring. I wanted my days to be different form one another, but now everyday is same. Is it because I'm more focused on studies ? Is it because I have changed my routine ? Is it because I'm not the old Pran, that I used to be, who was sleeping all the day, was not caring about studies and not going to school ? What's the reason ? Am I doing wrong ? My heart says "No". Then why everything is wrong with me ? Why do I have to deal with the same loneliness I had ? I call and I don't get to talk to anyone. No one picks up the call. Okay, maybe they are busy, but they can reply back with something like "I'm currently busy" or "I'll call you later". But no, they just disappear for days, and keep thinking that I'm not taking initiatives to contact with them. I just wanted my schedule to be changed, not the people I had. It hurts so much when you see your efforts turning into negative impacts on you regarding to the failure and the factors of failure as well. In simple words, "It hurts when people keep demotivating you despite all of your efforts. "

        Soon, we entered into the city, and I realized it when the streets started to look a bit crowdy. I was lost in myself for like 10 minutes, doing nothing but overthinking as usual. He had been on a phone call while driving since I don't know how long. He was talking about leaving the city the next day. When we came closer to my house, he cut the call and slowed his driving. Before that we had overtaken a truck, which had made me scared. There was a crowd on the street near my house. He said something about alcohol and drunk people,  but I didn't understand anything. And when we reached my destination, I jumped and went inside, without saying anything. So it was the end of the awkwardness. Maybe I should have said a "thank you". 

        Anyways that's it. It is the end of this post. I was glad that I returned earlier than the rest of my family members. I'm trying to sleep now. Will see you later.

        

                                         Love, Pran

73 Questions with Me

    It's 18th of January 2020 and the time is 23.58. I'm answering 73 questions and by the time it will be finished, it will be 19th of January. I'd like to thank VOUGE for this theme. It's an amazing way to express and know myself better. So let's get started :

1 - Favorite place to be

   A cozy room in a cool place like a hill station

2 - Something you can never live without ?

   It may sound crazy but I can't live without a phone now. Because I have every details of my life in it, which I can't lose.

3 -  Hobbies that you'll never give up? 

    I can never stop writing . Writing is the way I express myself and it's the most pleasant hobby that I have.

4 - Three words to describe yourself ?

    Optimistic, Awkward and Shy

5 - your Biggest fear ?

    Being homeless and alone in an unknown place

6 - What makes you angry ?

  TBH, nothing screws me up more than following a trend blindly. And yes I absolutely don't adore politics

7 - Your inspiration ?

   Usually, I get inspired easily. Everything I come across which I like, inspires me in some ways. 

8 - Favorite wild animal and why ? 

   I am not sure if Rabbit is a wild animal or not. But if it is, then Rabbit is my favorite animal. Reason - "how can I just not love such cuties !"

9 - Favorite food ?

     It actually depends on my mood and situation. But I'll go with Manchurian for now as it's my current favorite. And everyone knows it 😅

10 - First memory of life ?

   Naah. Can't say anything . When I start to think about my early life, thousands of memories come across my mind. So it gets hard to choose which one is the first. 

11 - The best advice you got  ?

  "Practice makes perfect!" - that's 1000% true.

12 - Where do you see yourself in 10 years ?

   

    I definitely don't see myself in the town I am right now. Just somewhere far away from this place.

13 - Book reading these days ?

    Oh yeah!  I'm reading "Dear Stranger, I Know How You Feel" by Ashish Bagrecha and it's quite soothing. Well it's the first English book I'm reading.

14 - The fictional character you want to be ? 

    I want to be.....  I don't know. I want to be someone like Merida from the Brave and also someone like Nobita from Doraemon. I don't know... I don't really watch a lot of fictions. 

15 - Your hidden talent ?

      Hidden talent ? I think my talents are clearly visible to the people who know me well. But still if you ask me for a hidden talent, that no-one knows is that I can dance a little. But I'm never gonna dance if you ask me to dance. 

16 - Favorite type of music ?

     I don't know the meaning of different genres of the music. I know the genres but I don't know what they are. But I like to listen to calm, romantic, slow songs which I listen after midnight. And I also love Arabic Instrumental Music. Actually I can't answer this one properly, because selection of music always depends on my mood.

17 - When do you feel happy ?

  When I listen to songs, or when I write, when I watch something creative, or when I'm talking to the people I love, I feel very happy. Even sometimes, I talk to myself and it sounds crazy but it feels really satisfying.

18 -  which song would you like to hear to be happy ?

    'Fight Song' by Rachel Platten. It fills me up with positivity. 

19 -  Favorite word in English ?

    It's too difficult to select one favorite word in a language. 'Bibliophile' is a nice one and so is 'introvert'. I'm not saying that these are my favorite words. I just ... I don't know ... They are pleasant to hear. 

20 - Any other language that you can speak ?

 

  Of course. I can speak Hindi, which is the National language of India. And yes Urdu, which is very similar to Hindi. And my mother tongue 'Oriya'. There are actually two types of Oriya and I can speak both of them.

21 - top 3 things in your bucket list ?

    Having Apple products, travelling to my dream places and gaining good experience

22 - the most heard song in 2019 ?

      There are so many. It's hard to choose one. I don't count which song I have listened to the most.

23 - Last book that you've read ? 

      I don't remember the last book I read before the one I'm reading currently.

24 - Favorite quote ?

     There are so many.  It's very hard to recall. This one is one of my favorite

"Your peace is more important than driving yourself crazy trying to understand why something happened the way it did. Let it go." 
                                        - Jay Shetty

25 - if you had a super power, what would it be? 

   Being invisible 

26- favorite sport ?

       😅 I wish I was interested in sports. But still I like to play badminton.

27 - biggest dream ?

       Traveling around the world

28 - favorite singer ?

       Jass Manak 😍

29 - favorite cuisine ?

       I don't know properly about cuisines. So can't tell right now. 

30 - A positive quality about you ?

      I stay confused all the time but when I fix something, that means that's gonna happen for sure. 

31 - A negative quality about you  ?

      Getting attached with people and trusting them easily

32 - best place you've ever visited ?

    Ooty, Tamil Nadu, India. Just google it if you wanna know why it's the best place for me so far

33 - when do you laugh the most ?

     When I'm with my cousins, we have a lot of fun and I laugh a lot with them and yes with my best friend too. 

34 - when do you get creative ?

      Right after watching a show or movie or a video maybe

35 - favorite lyrics  ?

    Oh!  There are a lot in hindi, urdu and also in Punjabi And English. This one was actually true "I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter"

36 - the scariest  thing you've ever done ?

     Oh my God! So one evening, I was hanging out with one of my friend away from the citylights. It was dark and cold outside there. And I think it was a hilly area very close to my city. We were talking in peace and when we were about to go, two men in police uniform, came there and I was super scared. I thought we were gonna get arrested and it was so scary. Just think we were two 16 years old teenagers, away from the city in that lonely place and it was dark, I could barely see anything. And two police guys suddenly appeared with big guns like AKM. It was an experience and it was one of the most scariest thing I've ever done. Luckily they didn't interact with us and we just left that place.

37 - biggest accomplished achievement so far ?

  Getting A1 in the 10th standard is actually a big achievement for me. Because my family members know how I was studying for it. I barely touched any books for the half of the year. My attendance in school was very poor. But I studied for the exams in the last 4 months and I was overjoyed when the result came out.

38 - what are you horrible at ?

    Sports 😅 (everyone knows) 

39 - favorite book genres  ?

      Romance, fantasy and philosophy 

40 - any adventurous thing you want to do ?

      I would like to see a volcano or maybe I could go for an African jungle safari 😅 

41 - something you would like to try  ?

      I want to open a fashion house and yes make a series

42 - Optimistic or pessimistic ?

      Optimistic. Because I like to be positive. Sometimes, thinking negative can stop you from doing what you like

43 - Favourite TV show host ?

      Jimmy Fallon and Ellen DeGeneres . Both of them are adorable 

44 - a talent that you want to acquire  ?

    Playing an instrument (more specifically Guitar)

45 - something from your childhood that you still have ?

      Oh yes ! I have all of my diaries that I've written in my childhood till now. And I'm never throwing them. Because I love them. When I feel down, I just open an old diary and start reading it. It would make me giggle that how I foolish I used to be in my childhood !

46 - if you had a chance to change something, what would it be ?

     Eradicate abuse and violence.. And also some people's sick mentality

47 - what would you do to calm yourself ?

    I would write down what's making me upset or I would try to sleep or do something which can distract me to a positive note 

48 - when do you find yourself singing  ?

     Basically all the time ! Just kidding. In bathroom, while listening to music, while writing notes and yes, in the school bus 

49 - what do you consider unforgivable ?

    Killing someone

50 - have you ever sleep-walked ?

    No!  Never. I don't sleep-walk. And I don't even talk in sleep. That's funny for me

51 - If you get a chance to go anywhere, where would it be ?

     I have a wish to see the aurora(northen lights). So I'd like to go to a polar country like Norway or Finland

52 -  what is your dream career ?

    I don't know. Still figuring out.

53 - an impossible wish ?

    To be invisible or to have a Doraemon

54 - who is your greatest role model ?

   🤷‍♂  I don't really have a role model 

55 - if you could live in any house that is shown in a movie or show, which one would it be ?

     The house shown in "Call Me By Your Name" has my heart and so does the movie

56 - favorite song currently  ?

    "Dhokha" by Jass Manak

57 -  advice to people  ?

      Don't think about unnecessary things that distracts you from your path of achieving your goals. Just ignore the negativity and stay under protection of positive vibes

58 - which are some of your travel destinations ?

    Amalfi Coast, Paris, London, Istanbul, Riyadh, Tokyo, Rio de Janeiro, New-York and LA ... And Toronto for sure 🤦‍♂

59 - Describe your style 

     Do I have a style ? I love fashion but I don't have a style I guess.

60 - favorite makeup product ?

      "It's not a question for a boy" - that's what the society thinks. But I know how to do makeup. And my favorite makeup product is "eyeshadow" or maybe "foundation" "concealer" "mascara" "highlighter" ....ughh everything 😅

61 - what's the guilty pleasure you have ?

    Late night long talk is my guilty pleasure. I think "I should have slept earlier" when I wake up in the morning. But it's okay. Because pleasure comes first. And yes this year I'll be having less pleasure 

62 - who is your favorite Game of Thrones character ?

    Olenna Tyrell 🖤

63 - any pet peeves ?

     Yeah, A lot. But when someone drags something, causing a very unbearable sound... It's so annoying that I would like to throw my things at him

64 - if you could die your hair, what color would it be  ?

    I wanna try every color which is in trend.

65 - what's your schedule these days?

   Waking up early in the morning, going to school, coming back, taking a nap, studying and studying ..then learning French for an hour and then sleeping.. I'm very busy now-a-days 

66 - Have you ever cut your own hair ?

    Yes. When I was 6, I watched Mr. Bean cutting his hair and I tried to do the same 😅

67 - who's your style icon  ?

     I don't know.  I love Sonam Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra, Rohit Khandedwal and all those actors and models who influence the fashion industry. But style icon ? I don't have any. 

68 - do you consider yourself as a good liar ?

        Indeed I am a good liar 🙃

69 - favorite movies as a child  ?

    I used to watch the Tom and Jerry movies, Disney Mulan, Snow White, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Tangled, Doraemon's movies, Shin Chan's movies and yes Barbie Movies were my favorite 🤩 I don't know how you would  feel but Barbie movies are great, they are entertaining. And stories of these movies are fantastic.

70 - Last show you've binge watched ?

   MTV's Awkward 

71 - First toy that you had

  I don't remember anything about my toys. All that I remember is that I had a teddy and some cars and even dolls😂

72 - What can you see from your window ?

    Wall of my neighbour's house

73 - what would be the most important thing you'd do tomorrow  ?

   Eat something tasty

   That's it. It was a pleasure sharing these things here. Thank you and Good Night. 

   

                                            Love, Pran