I don't want you to read it

Hey ! I'm back. I was disappeared because I had my final exams. So I had to focus on studies, which was not necessary actually. But it was better to study than dealing with negativity on social media. I deleted everything. And just tried to distract myself from phone. Well, I could have succeeded but as I said it was not necessary. So I decided not to drown in studies completely. I rather started sleeping. Now I sleep more than I used to sleep in a day. I sleep more than I need. Just to stay offline and stay away from phone. That's actually a good way to do so. But no, it makes me less productive. I can't just sleep and waste my days. Oh hey! I'm going to school on a regular basis. And I'm so glad that finally school has become  a place of joy for me. I like to be in school more than staying at home. But I'm still lazy. Less lazier than I was. Lazy that I've stopped learning French for some days. I'll be starting soon. I don't know why I'm writing this now. It's 3 am and I should be probably asleep. But tomorrow is Sunday and Saturday night is about staying up late and scrolling through my phone. Okay, so I see everything has been about me, me and me lately. Sometimes I ask my heart isn't it what I wanted ! And sometimes I'd be like ''why it is how it is." I don't know why but in all these confusions, I'm still happy. Not happy, but I'm not sad or bad. I know I have people and they will remember me when it will be the time. Even though I'm not talking to anyone, strangely being introverted, or even they are not talking to me, I know I will talk to them once again. I learned how to keep balance between my heart and hand. I can deny now. I'm not that sweet anymore. I have changed. This year is all about progress. And I'm glad that I can see some progress, even though it's slow. It took me a month to realize the importance of studies. Okay, while busy in studies, I may lose some friends, I may be called busy, ignorant and many more. But it's okay 😐 please let me heal. Let me recover. Let me be myself. Please let me take time. Now that I'm writing this, I don't know how come I keep thinking about only two persons in my mind. It's because they are my friends, both of them are busy. And I miss them. But it's okay, now I don't wanna talk to anyone. I'm upset that they don't remember me. So let me try to be happy. Please keep distance or I may tell something wrong. I'm sleepy. Good night ✨

                                              Love, Pran

PS. This is the most useless post so far. I don't know why I'm going to post this.