00:19
14th Oct 2019
Oh! Hey there! I know it's a comeback. There was a lot to write, but I didn't want to publish them. So I wrote and I saved them in drafts just for me. Those are not the things that I should shout for everyone. So obviously that's private. And privacy is a big thing. I believe privacy is an important part of our life.. But unfortunately it's not an important part of my life at all, although I give respect to people's privacy, and I know it's important. I need privacy too, but sometimes it's better if we don't expect things, just go with the flow.. Anyways, as the title suggests, I've been off for more than a month for some obvious reasons, which I'm not gonna tell if you ask me on my instagram page or even face to face... Well at least I can have this privacy. So I'll just let you know what happened in this long break...
Number one...
I got attached with a wrong person, which I thought I wasn't attached, but it turned out that he was so so attached to me. Even if I yelled at him, or tried to blow him off, said horrible things about him, disrespected his privacy intentionally, took everything of his online life under my control, well many more.. But he was genuine and I was so hurt when I had to take this difficult decision to cut off our attachment even after long phone calls because I was freaking out.. I couldn't stop thinking of this person and his views on me.. But as soon as I realized it's a wrong attachment.. I started ignoring, I started doing things that I would hate if anyone else would do to me.. But finally I got rid of him... O didn't say him to back off.. He said good bye himself... Great.. Chapter ended.. Oh no after effects of attachment? Well. No not at all.. U need right people to let go of wrong people, that's the only cure. And I'm glad I had some people who care about me.
Number 2
I had another person who was as sick as f. His story is quite simple. Start talking in a group, because we have things in common. Then forget about me for a year. And then come back purposely like "oh hey! We're friends right? " "No, we're so over. ".... Well I wish I could say that to him at that time.. But I am dumb.. I accepted his.. well.. Whatever that was, maybe a reminder of being friends? Doesn't matter. So we became so called friends again.. And we had mutual friends. And trust me mutual online friends ! Nothing can be so horrible than that.. Well for me... I don't like mutual friends.. Sorry for the distraction.. So, this person now acts like he's the superior one and wants you to feel jealous that he has a great friend, who's much better than you. Well, dear person, I don't give a single f on you and your so called friends. Because they are not even your real friends. I'm sure they'd leave you just like I kicked you out of my life. There's message for you... "Stop being such a d. Be mature. You're not a superhero or a Bigg boss. All that you need to do is just go and look at your face in a mirror. You are such an obsessive, moody, possessive, psycho, hypocrite, weird, sick, dumb, immature, useless, dramatic, clingy, judgemental, ignorant, pathetic (and many more adjectives) person. Go renew yourself. You're welcome."
If you think this is my anger, no it's not. I think people who really know me, they know I never get angry on people. I would never write these things for a person I am friend of. But you were clearly not my friend, crystal clear. Even if I gave you chances to be friends, you failed. You messed up everything. He couldn't see that someone is being treated in a friendlier way than him, or has a better connection than him. It's obvious if you would hurt someone even for once, you'll lose trust and importance a little if he even forgives you. I did that too.. I forgave him so many times. But clearly I never imagined him as a friend. And when it was just enough, I put a full stop to it. The end of this story too...
Number 3
This is a problem that I have since I've crossed that so called first part of school life "10th Grade". I've seen students who change after passing out from this grade. They might have great marks, but they change for their own reasons like being in pressure, lack of guidance, lack of interest, tired of being a topper. Well I'm not saying that everyone changes, some students keep their work same. But a student like me, who is studying in a stream, which he doesn't have a little interest in, it's really difficult to keep the same Topper tag on. I'd never wanted to be a topper and I Don't even want to be. Because I never wanted to hear stories like "he had a great rank in 10th grade, and after that he started going downward". This is ridiculous. But I'm tired of studying now. I don't care about these stories but somehow they matter for our parents. So for whatever reasons, I didn't even touch any books and I appeared for exams. And apparently I (bloop) up. I just guessed the answers and darkened the circles by my great assuming power. Let's see how much numbers I'll get....
Number 4
I've watched some amazing movies and series which have inspired me on my ways, that only I should know. So I'll let you know the series I've watched in a post I guess.. But just to keep it short, I'm not gonna write about them here.
Number 5
I am so so happy that I'm not jealous of anyone right now. Finally I've got that zen power which I'd been trying to get intentionally and I was failing. But I got it naturally. Being attached but not too attached is really peaceful for me. There is a person, who's really helpful. But I was so jealous of him over someone. And I took it as a competition. We did crazy things in this competition, which was totally useless. Now I'm mature enough to understand that there's no need to fight over people for importance. If they want to pay you attention, they will.. So stop fighting for it. I gave up and won. 😇
So these are the things I wanted to share. I would answer no questions asked on these topics. Thank you. Gud night. I promise I'll come soon.
Love, Pran
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