1.29am
I wasn't in a mood to write anything. It's been 5 days or something. I can't count the days. There's just so much going on my mind and nothing comes out in words. I feel the failure of expressing. I just watched two movies in a row before writing this. So I feel a bit of inspired. Inspired to write something. I'll tell you what happened. Some days back, it was raining a lot. I'd been thinking that I loved rain. But after this rainy day, apparently I've realized that I hate rain. I just hate that watery weather. I don't like the atmosphere made after raining. I've never had a shower in rain though. Because I couldn't take it. I tried to go out into the rain, but after a few seconds, I started feeling awful. I couldn't bear the raindrops on my skin, which made me to step back from the rain. It was just natural, I wanted to stay there a bit, but I couldn't. You see everything doesn't happen just as same as our expectations. We dream things, we try to live it but who knows how it makes us feel in reality. So it was an example to explain the theme of the film I've just watched. Two people think they'd never fall for each other, but they start falling. After they start falling for each other, they decide to live their dreams. Living their dreams turns out to be very difficult for both of them. But still they think they'd stay for themselves. They will be loving each other forever. Well, after turning the dreams into reality, nothing happened as same as they had thought. They had to leave, they had to live their own lives, apart from each other. And one day, the destiny makes them meet each other again. But everything has been changed. That's the ending. I think it's still a happy ending. It's happy ending because both of them were happy.
Next thing is, I've been missing school for a long time. I'm giving myself some time and trying to figure out things. But as long as I'm waiting, I'm getting more messed up. Thanks to the adorable, caring, loving and kind people I have. I'm not hurt. It's just a complexion of feelings. It's like ignored, hurt, happy, sick, tired, worried, horribly attached with wrong people and many more. Why do I still feel alone after having these amazing people ? I didn't give a heading for this post, because nothing suitable came to my mind. I just thought "WTH! How can I do the same mistakes everytime? " would be good, but no I'm not repeating mistakes. I think I'm special for them, but not that special. They don't make me feel that special now. All the spark's gone. So I searched for new people. They found me interesting, we chat, we have fun, and in the end, it just ends. One of them thinks getting attached with me is not good for him. Well, that's your choices to make. Mine is to just go through your choices. Just one line I'd like to tell them "Don't make me too attached with you and just stop talking to me". Because I feel the same way. I think I've been getting used to them too. Nothing more to say. Good night .
Love, Pran
I wasn't in a mood to write anything. It's been 5 days or something. I can't count the days. There's just so much going on my mind and nothing comes out in words. I feel the failure of expressing. I just watched two movies in a row before writing this. So I feel a bit of inspired. Inspired to write something. I'll tell you what happened. Some days back, it was raining a lot. I'd been thinking that I loved rain. But after this rainy day, apparently I've realized that I hate rain. I just hate that watery weather. I don't like the atmosphere made after raining. I've never had a shower in rain though. Because I couldn't take it. I tried to go out into the rain, but after a few seconds, I started feeling awful. I couldn't bear the raindrops on my skin, which made me to step back from the rain. It was just natural, I wanted to stay there a bit, but I couldn't. You see everything doesn't happen just as same as our expectations. We dream things, we try to live it but who knows how it makes us feel in reality. So it was an example to explain the theme of the film I've just watched. Two people think they'd never fall for each other, but they start falling. After they start falling for each other, they decide to live their dreams. Living their dreams turns out to be very difficult for both of them. But still they think they'd stay for themselves. They will be loving each other forever. Well, after turning the dreams into reality, nothing happened as same as they had thought. They had to leave, they had to live their own lives, apart from each other. And one day, the destiny makes them meet each other again. But everything has been changed. That's the ending. I think it's still a happy ending. It's happy ending because both of them were happy.
Next thing is, I've been missing school for a long time. I'm giving myself some time and trying to figure out things. But as long as I'm waiting, I'm getting more messed up. Thanks to the adorable, caring, loving and kind people I have. I'm not hurt. It's just a complexion of feelings. It's like ignored, hurt, happy, sick, tired, worried, horribly attached with wrong people and many more. Why do I still feel alone after having these amazing people ? I didn't give a heading for this post, because nothing suitable came to my mind. I just thought "WTH! How can I do the same mistakes everytime? " would be good, but no I'm not repeating mistakes. I think I'm special for them, but not that special. They don't make me feel that special now. All the spark's gone. So I searched for new people. They found me interesting, we chat, we have fun, and in the end, it just ends. One of them thinks getting attached with me is not good for him. Well, that's your choices to make. Mine is to just go through your choices. Just one line I'd like to tell them "Don't make me too attached with you and just stop talking to me". Because I feel the same way. I think I've been getting used to them too. Nothing more to say. Good night .
Love, Pran
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